Tuesday With Kimi and Maria!

Sorry, People... I ran out of time to resize the photos and there is no way they will upload at this slow internet pace... so... you will have to wait one more day for more. sorry!

CJ 11.23.2010

Kimi’s Adoption Day.

This morning we were running behind a little, but apparently that is not a problem. We met Amy at the elevators. She came and sat with us while we ate. I fed Maria and Amy offered to Help Kimi. She set a bowl of congee in front of her and Kimi just dove her fingers in to eat! Amy quickly grabbed her hand and wiped it off. We were surprised and yet I wasn’t… Kimi does not know how to hold a spoon or chopsticks for that matter, we tried those at lunch. In fact eating from a spoon is awkward for her, she is very slow taking it from the spoon! I have been told that even though they eat with chopsticks here they feed their babies with spoons. More questions in my mind… what was her foster family doing? They clearly did not feed her. She feeds herself with her hands. When we took the spoon and were cleaning off her hands she was even bending over to put her face into the bowl to eat like a cat or dog! I am shocked and angry… no child should ever think they NEED to eat like this!!!

I am hoping and guessing that she is an isolated case. The Hengyang yahoo group that I belong to solely funds the foster care program in Hengyang and so far people have been very happy with the care their adopted children have received there. I don’t understand. I am hoping to find some answers in time. I am hoping that Kimi was not damaged too much from her experience.

By the end of today we have seen great improvements. She CAN learn how to behave. It might be slow but she has clearly the capability.

Jerry strapped her onto him in the HipHammock and off we went this morning back to the CAB office to finalize Kimi’s adoption, Notarize everything and apply for her passport. I can’t believe how expensive it is to notarize things… if it is like Kazakhstan the Notary has to be a lawyer… However Kazakhstan was very cheap and they used a needle and thread to notarize! Haha! It was 3600yuan to notarize 5 copies of her adoption decree. That is about $600!!! Goodness!!! For a few minutes work! However… I think Amy said he came from Hengyang to do it, but still…

When we were done we waited a few minutes for Amy to finalize everything. We sat in the waiting room where there were some other families waiting too… The three families that I mentioned yesterday were all girls! Today they were dressed like girls! And they were soooo cute!!! I think the foster families were there visiting too… It was loud in there!

The whole time Kimi was in the hip hammock with Jerry… this is how she stays calm. If we allow her down she nervously runs (well, limps) around grabbing things and basically just out of control. So we have decided to keep her very confined for a while to see if that helps her behavior. She has clearly had no structure, guidelines to follow, no discipline, nothing… when Amy asked the Orphanage director about her behavior, he said she needed a lot of training. I am not exactly sure what he means… I mean I know what it sounds like but lots of things can be read into that statement!

Kimi does not like being this close to a person all the time, but I am sure as time goes on she will get use to it. Especially as she comes to know us. She will come to us and put her arms up for us to pick her up but when you lift her she is very stiff and pulls away from you instead of snuggling in. no surprise there… She has a lot of trouble making eye contact… but then sometimes she has no problem at all… it depends on what you are doing.

We have decided to treat her like an 8 month old baby. Formula, diapers, toys, feeding her… everything possible. I think she did not experience that. Maybe she was neglected before coming to the orphanage too, if you remember she was not taken in there until she was 8 months old. Again… she was found in a waiting room at the Train station in Hengyang… what is with the trains!?

When we finished all that we came back to the room to unload everything, Amy looked over the papers we had and Maria’s adoption certificate, this way she would know Maria’s info so she could confirm our plane tickets for Friday!

When it was time for lunch we went downstairs… we decided against the buffet as it was all seafood! Ha! We went to Food Street. Which has the same menu as room service, so that was familiar to us… oh! the men smoke here like crazy… and they can smoke anywhere they want!!! There was a table next to us of 4 men and two women. All the men lit up at the same time… I almost choked… I told Jerry we were going to get lung cancer from all these adoption trips! Kazakhstan is the same way! Whoa! So we ordered some stuff… rice with vegetables and the tempura. Those were both new to us. Jerry also ordered a pasta and asked them to not put the meat on it. They did. SO they replaced it without the meat. Poor people! Ha! When we eat Maria is hilarious! Just about every bite is not complete if she doesn’t say “aahhhmmmmmmm” loudly and with a smile on her face! Which is so cute! (I taught her this apparently). She is so enthusiastic! We had been trying to teach her the sign for more… well, today she got it! When I would say more she would excitedly put her little fingers together and then open up as wide as possible! So funny! I need to video it today. Jerry was trying to teach Kimi more too… so far she will clap her hands together when she wants more… so that was a big improvement, she is actually responding to what we are teaching her. We were excited! We also noticed that if we allow her to eat with her hands at all, she starts shaking and kind of reverts to the animal-like grabbing and stuffing. So we are only going to allow the cheerios, and that we have to only give her one or two at a time slowly or she goes crazy on them, too. So she is going to be more work, But I think once we get home and we have some serious structure everyday and I think Maria is ready to learn to feed herself then we will be a little more free to focus on feeding Kimi and teaching her. As in, I don’t expect Jerry to be home all the time to feed her! So I will be. :)

So once we figure out stuff that works we are trying to stick with it… we decided that we would be eating in our room tonight! It is the same price, so why not. Kimi is already putting her fingers in her mouth LESS. We have a sippy cup for her, and as soon as she learns to drink the water out of it we put in, we will start putting juice and stuff in with calories, she needs all she can get. I need to find some vitamins that are really intense for her that she can drink, maybe, too. So if anyone has any suggestions I would love to hear them!

Maria has already learned that you do not put your fingers in your mouth at the table… so when she accidently does it out of habit, she quickly gives me her hand to wipe off! Its so cute seeing her try to be obedient already! She had the habit that Alex had when we first got him, he would put his finger in his mouth to help move the food around so he could chew it! Maria also hates having food on the outside of her mouth! So she stops everything and puts her mouth forward for me to get the food off before she will chew and swallow! Its so fun seeing her personality… good girl! She is amazingly smart… when she plays with the stacking cups she almost always has them put together by color! There are two orange and two yellow and I think there are two pink or red as well… but she always plays with the small yellow inside the big yellow, and the small orange inside the big orange one! She is very adept with her tongue as well… You can see her use her tongue now to move her food in her mouth and she will even lick her little lips… Anthony isn’t even that good with his little tongue! Anyways, Maria is really coming out, and she is amazing! We are soooo blessed to have her!!! God knew we needed each other.

Jerry has really taken over on Kimi! I am so glad for that! I am not always sure what to do about her craziness! Jerry is all over it! It was just too much for me all of a sudden! I was freaking! He sincerely believes she can be taught everything she hasn’t been… I am starting to believe him. Please pray for us, that we will know what to do for her always so that she learns the best and we are patient with her! She needs a lot. After we put them for a nap… I took a bath and cried . I just can’t believe that someone would let a child be like this!!! I never expected this… I expected all kinds of other hard things but not this!! Jerry reminded me that we are her best option right now and that Jesus would have died just for her if she was the only one who needed it, even in her state. He was right and I needed to hear that… I was starting to worry about what our family was going to be like and if she would be accepted at home and church and family… I guess I don’t care now… God called us to adopt her, that is clear. She NEEDS us… and we need her.

Jerry went and found some b vitamins… which I lost somewhere between the cabinet I keep them at home to the suitcase… that is what helps my body deal with stress… I took some and then took a nap! When I woke up, Jerry was on the floor building towers of stacking cups, both kids were laughing! Maria was shrieking with laughter and Kimi was laughing much more quietly! They were going crazy! Jerry would put his arms up in the air and yell every time Maria knocked them over and Kimi was copying Jerry without the yelling part of course! It was hilarious! When I woke up Kimi came over to me and I hugged her. That was an improvement too… Jerry said he was teaching her a bunch of stuff while I was sleeping and that she was a different kid already!

We ordered in our dinner, taught Kimi to eat one cheerio at a time, had to get after her for trying to steal her baby sister’s cheerios, we started sticking her in a spot next to the wall on the floor for a timeout when she misbehaves… she usually just laughs at us when we say NO! so we started sticking her over there, and the smile quickly fades. She only needs about 30 seconds against the wall, but it seems to help. Then we went for a walk around the hallway about 5 times… Both of them are getting better at walking. Maria could barely make it around the hallways without huffing and puffing… now she is even walking faster and not holding my finger the whole time so tight!!!! Kimi still holds onto Jerry’s hand, I think she is figuring out he helps her have a little more control of herself… she has to want that! Then we watched a baby Einstein on signs for the household objects. Maria soooo seriously watched this! Before we know it she will be signing and talking like a pro. Kimi is going to need to learn the signs unless she decides to talk ever! Kimi even watched pretty good. Jerry sets her in front of him so he can hold her still and before long he can let go and she will sit there and pay attention. She normally has about a one second (or less) attention span. But we see it increasing already!!! Yay!!!! We try to praise her A LOT!! It seems to help both girls actually! Then it was time to pray and sleep! They were both so tired they conked out fast!

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Hey Alex and Anthony!! We miss you sooooooo soooooo soooooo much! We can’t wait to get home to snuggle on you! Mommy cried yesterday because I miss you so much!! This is one long trip, huh? I know you guys are having fun wearing grandma and grandpa out and this week you are going to have fun with Maggie and Robby there. So the time will go by quickly and we will soon be home all together again. Have you guys seen Aunt Bonnie lately? Did you know that Today was Dylan’s Birthday?! He is three now! You guys should call him and sing happy birthday to him. I will email heather’s number to you at Grandma’s email. We love love love love love love love you both!!! Love mommy and daddy.